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For five months my body had known there was something wrong, yet I had felt fantastic. And I wish that I'd been told at that point, that somebody had actually turned round to me and said, 'Look, I'm sorry, but I think there's something very wrong. The appointment usually takes around 30 minutes. The doctor explained the options I had to manage my miscarriage. My heart goes out to you OP. I had no idea if we were doing the "right" thing. He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. But for those few days they were torture. But the closeness has remained after the drama has died down. . So it was quite common, this is what happens. So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. I was sent home with a leaflet, strong painkillers and two types of antibiotics. So he went out for a walk. I mean, you just, you're just overwhelmed, it's so much fun. I faced another internal scan where I began to feel helpless and alone. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. So obviously quite relaxed. And there [sighs] was a very dark patch over one, where the eye socket was, and they didn't know it, in the Edward's babies sometimes the eyes don't develop properly, or it might have been bleeding, they weren't very sure. 13/12/2020 20:45. He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. You do not have to have the scan. I was becoming numb to the whole process. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. Some hospitals do offer earlier anomaly scans of the baby, but they will not show as much detail as scans performed between 18 and 20weeks. I want to enjoy my son again, without any reservations. We went in, had a scan, I can't remember the exact sequence of events because the baby was still in the wrong position. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, 'it didn't look good' and that 'my womb looked raggedy'. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. Thick milky discharge at 14 weeks.tmi pic attached. 2022. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. He looked fine. The anomaly scan, also called the 20 week scan or mid-pregnancy scan, is used to detect pregnancy irregularities significant in diagnosis of any of the following conditions: In most instances no serious issue will be found during the scan and many parents-to be will come away knowing that all is progressing nicely and, perhaps, having found out . Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. I felt sad, but not the complete devastation of the last scan as they had seen a change of some sort. Can you remember that minute. Public Health England (PHE) created this information on behalf of the NHS. We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. I remember thinking, 'Gosh' I now know it was a girl, I didn't know that then, that, 'She looks just like her brother'. It felt so wrong. So, in the end, we said we would arrange our own funeral. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. We decided that we wanted medication to help me. A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. There were also two spots on his heart, which were "soft markers" for Down's syndrome. The doctor wanted to do another blood test to confirm a significant drop in my hormone levels. I didn't have a clue. As soon as we arrived, we were shown to this little room. By 7pm, I still hadn't delivered the baby. And that was a terrible moment to be sort of hanging on, waiting. All the hopes, dreams, and plans we made with our little bumps has been taken away from us. But other than that everything was fine. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. I noticed the box of tissues on the table. Again, we weren't understood. Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. I was told they needed to do a blood test to get a bench mark of my hormone levels. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. Please note that the opinions expressed by users in Tommys Book of #misCOURAGE are solely those of the user, who is unlikely to have had medical training. Purpose of screening. And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. It doesn't remove the guilt, but I don't know what else to do. So it was, there was very, very little movement from the baby because I remembered first time round by that stage, you know, that the baby was quite big and it moved around a lot at a later scan. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. We spent the next few weeks in a happy bubble. An hour passed and I started to panic. 1. No one else ever met the object of my grief. He sounded like a wild animal in pain, deep pain. On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. By this time, we were tired. I believed at this point I had miscarried, they wanted me to come back I'm for a follow up scan. Three midwives came and went. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. And I'd been on the internet looking up all sorts of things and everything was so negative, it was very depressing, because I thought, 'Well, maybe they've made a mistake, or maybe it's something they can fix, I don't know'. Instead, I had to raise a glass of water to my mouth, take a swig and swallow the tablet. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. The first midwife seemed to understand what we were trying to say, and said she would ask the doctor to come and talk to us. We understand the real meaning of "shit happens". We went, I went in to the scanning room and they're quite bland facially anyway, whether everything's fine or not they just look at the screen to start off with and do measurements but I very quickly realised that the woman's demeanour wasn't, even for a bland face, was concerning. And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. I travelled to work that day feeling amazing. Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. It's a bit at the back of the brain and - no I can't remember what it is - it's called, it's something that's called Dandy-Walker mal, The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). I couldn't bring myself to push. There, I would give birth. In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. So I no longer trusted my instincts. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. And that was Monday afternoon. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. And I'm glad I did and she's glad she didn't. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. It was another consultant, who said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news - your baby has Down's syndrome." He looked excited. I've still had no cramps or bleeding so fingers crossed everything is ok I just couldn't believe I fell down the stairs, I can't remember the last time I ever did that! I was booked back in to discuss management options, if nothing had happened. I wasn't unduly worried at all. A long process of blood tests, scans, doctors and hospitals. I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. A few people recalled how frightened and alarmed they became when they sensed that the atmosphere in the scanning room changed in an instant from 'jokey' to serious when the baby's problems were detected. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? I had to wait for a doctor to explain the situation. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. The scan will look in detail at your babys bones, heart, brain, spinal cord, face, kidneys and abdomen. I swallowed the tablet and we left the building. I was told that while bad news at the 12 w scan is often of the life or death kind, bad news at the 20 week scan is often of the 'needs an operation in childhood' or 'needs to wear a brace for a year' kind. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. The screen may be directly facing them or at an angle. I think there might be a problem'. It will take only 2 minutes to fill in. Slightly marked from our peers. I popped out from work, telling my boss I'd be back in half an hour. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly.